PANDAS Guest Blogs - Archive - PANDAS Foundation UK

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Volunteers’ Week Spotlight: VICTORIA

“I have supported probably over 100 people now via the helpline and this makes me feel great that I can listen to and support others going through a tricky time.”

Victoria is our brilliant and talented phone line support volunteer.

1) Please tell us about yourself?
I am Victoria from south Manchester with partner Rob and twin daughters Emily and Grace. I am Re-training as a person centred counsellor at the moment and due to qualify in September 2018. I love being with my family, friends, eating out, cinema, theatre, travelling abroad.

2) How did you hear about PANDAS and what made you want to join as a volunteer?
I am not quite sure now how I heard about PANDAS but as a I was re-training as a counsellor I wanted to gain some experience volunteering for a mental health charity and PANDAS seemed the perfect choice as I had struggled with PND myself after having my twin girls so it was an area that interested me massively and I wanted to support others going through similar experiences.

3) What is your role and what do you do?
I am a telephone support worker and take calls from all kinds of people mums, dads, grandparents, friends, work colleagues etc – all people needed either support or advice about Postnatal depression (PND.) I volunteer one day per week and have been doing so for the last three years. It fits in perfectly for me as I can work from home taking the calls and usually use the time to crack on with college work while waiting for calls to come through.

4) Please tell us how you have supported someone?
I have supported probably over 100 people now via the helpline and this makes me feel great that I can listen to and support others going through a tricky time. I often find when a caller first comes on they are usually quite upset and distressed. It is clear the person is having a difficult time and making the call has been a big step for them. It is not long into the call that it is evident that having someone to listen to them, talk to them and let them know they are not on their own going through PND that the caller tends to become much calmer, more in control and more able to cope with their situation going forward. I offer a listening ear but I also signpost people to relevant organisations such as Pandas support groups, their GP for counselling or other support. I often find that people who seem to be struggling the most have had traumatic births, have little support around them such as family and friends and have had issues with depression before. We talk about how small changes can be made to their lifestyle so they can cope better with having a baby or small children, such as exercise, joining baby groups, having time out from the baby, talking to others or calling the helpline for support. I also like to encourage callers by telling them they are doing a fab job as being a mum or dad is one of the hardest jobs in the world but it does get easier!

5) And finally…
I love being a volunteer. I feel valued and I find supporting others rewarding and fulfilling. To hear on the helpline that you helping people to feel listened to and resolve an issue is great. I feel volunteering for PANDAS has enhanced my counselling skills considerably and given me a greater understanding of PND and how vital it is that it is taken seriously and people are given the right support.

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Volunteers’ Week Spotlight: CAROLINE

“One day I hope to be a kind, competent midwife somewhere in the East Midlands, and I think the work I’ve done with PANDAS and what I’ve learnt will definitely help me to be empathetic and more aware of perinatal mental health.”

Caroline from the East Midlands is our kind and passionate social media volunteer. We are proud to have Caroline as part of our team.

  1. Please tell us about yourself? 

I’m Caroline, from the East Midlands. Mum of two and married to a teacher. I’m currently a social media and PR professional but also attend college as I am retraining as a midwife and start university in September.

2) How did you hear about PANDAS and what made you want to join as a volunteer?

I decided to volunteer for PANDAS because I have supported friends through postnatal mental health issues and had seen that getting the right support makes a lot of difference. It was also helpful for me to get relevant work experience for my application for university and mental-health in pregnancy / postnatally isn’t always covered in much depth at university so it was a double-whammy, in terms of me wanting to volunteer. When I saw the role of social media volunteer advertised, it was perfect for the skills I use in my day job too so I applied straight away.

3) What is your role and what do you do? How does it work around your family and home life/other jobs/commitments?

I am a social media volunteer for Pandas, and that means that one day a week I look after our social media accounts, posting motivational and informative content to our audience. I also provide support to service users who get in touch over social media, and signpost them to our other services if they are looking for 1-2-1 support. I work 2 days a week, go to college 3 days a week and have my children at weekends and school holidays, but because of the fact you can access social media anywhere, I manage to volunteer around these commitments. I will schedule posts to go out, so I don’t have to remember to do it during a busy work day, and I will make time throughout the day to check messages and post comments and responds to questions and requests for support.

4) Please tell us how you have supported someone?

Although the main role of a social media volunteer is to signpost service users to our helpline, email support, support groups or FB closed group, on numerous occasions I have had lengthy chats with service users over Facebook messages, building rapport and supporting them when they’re feeling that they are struggling. Often, I can see that it’s helpful to them to know that someone is listening, is there and cares. I know that I can’t make someone feel better on my own, but if I help them know that they aren’t alone, that support is out there and that things will improve, that makes it all worthwhile.

Also, increasing our social media following and engagement levels is really rewarding, knowing that people like what we do, feel boosted by our posts is lovely.

5) Please tell us how donations, support and fundraising help the foundation?

Everything we do is run by volunteers, but we still need funds to be able to offer our services. I know that the volunteers on the helpline and email support do a fantastic job and it would be great if the face-to-face support group team had more resources to set up groups in locations where we aren’t currently, to make those services more accessible to more parents.

Also, I think that we could expand our range of digital services to suit how some people like to access support – kind of like an online chat function that’s private, as some people feel nervous about calling in.

I’d also like us to be able to support the people who raise funds for us more – with branded tshirts etc to show to the world that they’re supporting us 

And finally…

One day I hope to be a kind, competent midwife somewhere in the East Midlands, and I think the work I’ve done with PANDAS and what I’ve learnt will definitely help me to be empathetic and more aware of perinatal mental health.

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Volunteers’ Week Spotlight: JESS

“There is a group of 6 mums who have all met within the group and have become firm friends. They have taken their babies for their first swims together and have also gone on a night out together.”

Jess is our wonderful volunteer who tells us about her, the progression within PANDAS and the mums she has met.

1) Please tell us about yourself?

I am Jess from Bristol with personal experience of Post-Natal Depression (PND) and Anxiety. I have two young boys and live with my husband on a Dairy Farm. I am an Occupational Therapist by background and a keen crafter and cake maker.

2) How did you hear about PANDAS and what made you want to join as a volunteer?

I initially wanted to volunteer with a PND support service in my local town, but found that although there were services in the city, there was nothing available for local families. I contacted a locally based organisation to offer to run a group for them and this offer was declined due to funding issues, so I then found PANDAS through online searches. PANDAS was great, because they supported me to set up my service with insurance, DBS check and training, but also colleagues within the network gave me ideas for free venues, group structure and promotion. The organisation has no head office so money raised is direct delivery to the service users and despite this I have felt part of a team from the start. I love the autonomy PANDAS gives to its Peer Support Group Leaders.

3) What is your role and what do you do?

I began as a Peer Support Group Leader which required around 4 hours per week of my time. This is because I run my group weekly, but other groups are fortnightly and monthly so plenty of flexibility. I have now progressed within the organisation to become South West Regional Coordinator which will require an additional 6 hours per week as the role develops. I am fortunate enough to work part time, allowing me to run my groups on a week day while my children are in school and pre school.

4) Please tell us how you have supported someone?

The aim of our Peer Support Groups is to facilitate friendship so that families will go on to support each other within their communities and outside of group hours. This is to ensure that our families do not feel alone in their journey through Maternal Mental Health.

There is a group of 6 mums who have all met within the group and have become firm friends. They have taken their babies for their first swims together and have also gone on a night out together. What I am most proud of is that they are reducing their isolation and supporting their recoveries through friendships with peers who truly understand. One mum told me that even on the weeks she can’t get out for anything else, she will always push herself to get to PANDAS as this is where she feels safe and relaxed with people who understand and do not judge.

5) Please tell us how donations, support and fundraising help the foundation?

Local fundraising supports us to deliver more community activities within our groups to promote sustainable recoveries. We are also responsible locally for our own service promotion and the championing of the Charity so need funding for this. Nationally PANDAS insure and support our Peer Support Groups, through DBS, training and supervision.

They also offer online and telephone support for those who are unable to access groups.

Fundraising is imperative to ensure no families go through this alone and that we move forward to break the stigma, that we champion “it’s OK not to be OK”

And finally..

I run Yate PANDAS, near Bristol. We meet weekly throughout the year, including during the holidays as we believe continuity is essential. We offer Peer Support to families, a listening ear, craft activities to promote mindfulness and there is always homemade cake.

We are facilitating friendships as we believe peer support is key to a sustainable recovery.

We are looking for committee members to support our aims and objectives and to help with fundraising events and planning.

We are looking for speakers, crafters or activities to offer taster sessions to our groups.

We are looking for sponsorship to develop our wellness packs to be offered to all new group members.

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Volunteers’ Week Spotlight: ANNE MARIE

“That’s the thing about PANDAS, it not only supports women but then empowers them to help others going through the same”

Anne Marie is our fabulous email support and social media volunteer from Edinburgh. Anne Marie tells us about her background and what she brings to PANDAS.

1) Please tell us about yourself?

My name is Anne Marie and live in South Queensferry in Edinburgh, right next to the Forth bridges. I have three children, all girls and grown up with three beautiful grandchildren, who keep me busy. I am happily married to Kevin.

2) How did you hear about PANDAS and what made you want to join as a volunteer?

My daughter suffered with Postnatal Depression (PND ) and Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) last year after a traumatic birth. She took a long time to recover and then suffered with anxiety. She was diagnosed with PND. As her mum, I supported both her and her partner through this. Having suffered with PND with my second child, no support had been available then. After my daughter recovered, it was something I felt I could do, and had a lot to offer. I had followed PANDAS on Facebook and my daughter did the same.

3) What is your role and what do you do?

Currently I am an email volunteer on a Saturday and sometimes a Tuesday to support the group. As I work Monday to Friday it fits in easily with my work. I then took more volunteer work on as a social media agent, totally different to email, but I love engaging with our service users, and it’s so good for them to get an instant reply. I have also hosted the Twitter chat #PANDAShr on a Sunday evening. Although apprehensive about this, I really enjoy the engagement.

The balance with my job/family/career is great, its something I enjoy and I love being able to help people.

4) Please tell us how you have supported someone?

I have supported both my daughters through post natal depression, my eldest daughter suffered this 5 years ago, she didn’t realise she had it. She came up to visit me and I could see it. She went home and got support both through her GP and through PANDAS. Although she lives a long way away she knows I am always there for her, and when she had her second baby last year, I was mindful of this.

My youngest child suffered with this last year, it was hard being her mother and seeing her go through this. It was hard for me too, as my anxiety kicked in and to a point if I feel she is going through a difficult time it does now. It meant late night visits if she was anxious and her partner being young also didn’t understand what was going on.

I am so proud of her, she is thriving as a Mother and has started a new job.

5) Please tell us how donations, support and fundraising help the foundation?

We can’t help families if we didn’t have donations, they basically help us to help and reach more families.

Fundraising on a local level helps the groups to run and reach more people.

The generosity of wonderful people that help us to support families suffering with perinatal illness.

I would love to see PANDAS reach even more people and see more groups in more areas over the UK. I very often have service users on email say how when they are feeling better they would love to volunteer. That’s the thing about PANDAS, it not only supports women but then empowers them to help others going through the same.

 

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Lucien’s Marathon

1) Please tell us about yourself?

My name is Lucien, 32 from France. I have been living in the UK with my wife Alix for almost 10 years and consider myself more English than French! Our son Oscar is 2.5 years old. I work in sports marketing, and apart from running, I enjoy sports in general, music and film.

2) Please tell us about your marathon?

My marathon was Sunday (9th April) in Paris. I’ve been training hard for the last 6 months, gradually building my training regime. I only started running 1 year ago, after 31 years of hating it!

3) Please tell us about your experiences of perinatal mental health and why you are supporting PANDAS?

It wasn’t something my wife and I were ready for. I don’t think anyone can be. But in my case, I had a misconception of what it meant. My wife was ,and still is- one of the strongest persons I know, and when it started few weeks after our lovely boy Oscar was born, I think both of us actually fooled ourselves into thinking it wasn’t that. It couldn’t be. She was just tired and it would pass. But it didn’t. Things worsened, to a point where I was fearing for her safety. Never our child’s. Remarkably and bravely Alix decided to get help and it was the best decision she could take.

I remember feeling this complete sense of being useless. I am used to making her feel better after 14 years together and I know what to say when she’s down. But this wasn’t “like before.” And we now know this isn’t something you can get out of without the help of professionals. This doesn’t make Alix, or anyone seeking help weak or weaker. Actually for me realising this is beyond your control and requiring professional help is a sign of strength. Alix received the help she needed from NHS professionals, who were absolutely amazing. But we wish at the time we’d known about PANDAS.

4) How can supporters follow your marathon and sponsor you?

I’m starting on Sunday around 08.55 UK time, and you can track me (my race number is 71199) here: https://track.rtrt.me/e/ASO-PARISMARATHON-2018#/tracker You can support me (and PANDAS of course) by donating on my page: https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/LucienBigois

5) Finally is there anything else you would like to add? 

To people reading this at that crucial point when you do not know if you, or a loved -ones is suffering from perinatal mental illness, and think it will go by itself, please do seek help. If nothing else ,you will get the chance to have a chat than can be more powerful than you think.

Thank you for reading and I hope to make PANDAS proud. I won’t set the timer on fire – but I’ll do my best.

Lucien is running a marathon in Paris on Sunday to raise funds for people suffering with perinatal mental health. We would like to say a huge thank you to Lucien for sharing his family’s story and for having the strength to train for a marathon.

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Will’s Marathon

Meet our fundraiser, Will from East Sussex. Following the birth of his first child, Will’s wife Shauna suffered with post traumatic stress and post natal depression. Will has been training non-stop for an almighty marathon in Hastings in tough weather, all in aid of PANDAS. Please read Will’s amazing journey and how to sponsor him below!

Please tell us about yourself?  

I’m Will. I’m 33, and live in Worthing on the Sussex coast with my wife Shauna and two kids, Nova and Nate. Shauna and I have been married for almost 5 years now and Nova is 2 ½ and Nate is almost 5 months.  I love nothing more than hanging out with my family and taking them out to places that excite them. Each weekend we enjoy swimming at our local gym and we also like walks in the South Downs and visiting local farm attractions. 

As I’m originally from Devon I have a love for the sea and enjoy sailing, fishing  and running.  

Please tell us about your marathon? 

I’m running the “Hastings Half Marathon” East Sussex coast this Sunday, the 18th March 2018. Weather forecast has predicted that it’s not going to be warm! Reported that it could feel like -7° with a 30mph north easterly wind gusting up to 50mph with a slight chance of snow! 

At the time I decided to do the marathon it didn’t seem that daunting, but as my training has progressed it has become clear that it is actually a big undertaking for someone who had not done a huge amount of running. 

My training has gone well but not as well as I had hoped. Trying to fit in the shear amount of training around work, family and a 4 month old baby has been a challenge but I’m feeling positive about the race.  

Please tell us about your experiences of perinatal mental health and why you are supporting PANDAS with your fundraising? 

Following the birth of Nova, my wife suffered birth trauma, post natal post traumatic stress and depression. It was a very difficult time for us as a new family and it isn’t something that you expect to happen because you very rarely hear anything about it, until you’re in it. 

There are two main reasons I wanted to try to raise some money for PANDAS. One is that there seems to be a lot of misconceptions surrounding perinatal mental illnesses and not many people, such as family and friends really know how to help. The second is that in a way we were in a lucky situation because Shauna is a qualified psychotherapist so she already had knowledge about this area. I can only imagine how scary it must be to not have any clue as to what is happening during a time that is socially regarded as being one of the happiest moments in your life.  

Based on this I think the work PANDAS does is so important to such a large number of families and it needs to be more widely acknowledged. Hopefully my contribution may help in some small way. 

How can supporters follow your marathon and sponsor you? 

You can follow my journey on my Instagram account @willbeare and I also post on Twitter @Echo_Will and Facebook. So far I have managed raise over £600, which is incredible and the support all my family and friends have shown is overwhelming. If you would like to donate,  no matter how big or small, I have a fundraising page on Virgin Money Giving – https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/WillBeare. 


Will has also for the last 10 years been building his video production company, “Echo Video” which is based in Brighton, East Sussex. Producing corporate and promotional videos for a wide range of businesses, from local artisans to multi-national organisations, we offer a full in-house service so we can take a video from conception right through to final delivery even if that involves time-lapse photography and aerial filming from helicopters and drones. Our website is www.echovideo.co.uk if you would like to find out more about us. 


If you would like to fundraise for PANDAS please do not hesitate to get in touch with our fundraising team! www.pandasfoundation.org.uk  

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A Not-so Traditional Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, historically, is a day for children to appreciate their mothers and all that they do for them. Slowly, like many of these seasonal events over the years, this has become commercialised and now for many the pressure of ‘fulfilling’ the glossy-magazine, smiley, happy, room dressed in walls of flowers – just never quite happens.

Many mothers have children who don’t even know the meaning of Mother’s Day. And there are also children who do not have mothers. Many mothers are single and don’t have that one person who can rush out to Clintons and bring back a ‘I LOVE YOU’ teddy bear. And many Mums, like the mums that are supported through PANDAS, are mums with perinatal mental health illness. Depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, to name a few. The energy consumed with this means that we are tired. Exhausted and drained by our thoughts, let alone once the day starts (if we haven’t been up all night already!) So, Mother’s Day for some can just be another huge burden that we can’t perform to on that day.

“JUST ONE PICTURE for Instagram!” I screamed at my equally exhausted husband, 3-year-old and wailing 6-month-old baby. With a full stream row over the top of the babies crying I sat in a heap on the floor and wept. I didn’t know why I was crying? Was it because we wouldn’t make it to our harvester Mother’s Day lunch, was it that my kids weren’t hanging off my ankles telling me how much they appreciate my efforts. Or was it that I couldn’t put a selfie on Instagram displaying my proud mother hen moment in my nest? On that day I hated Mother’s Day. And then, my 3-year-old wiped my cheeks and said, ‘Love you mummy’ and that was my moment to feel proud, it made my day. – Sarah

Social media and commercialisation are two of the biggest contributors to mental health in parents when considering things such as Mothers or Father’s Day. Constant marketing and promotion of what we ‘should’ be doing in an idealised world cannot be helpful to the many parents out there suffering with PND. One women kindly spoke to us about her traumatic experience over Mother’s Day two years ago.

Clair and her husband were visiting family with their newborn baby. Whilst the family cooed over the baby, Clair felt disconnected and isolated from her baby. On top of her stress she started to feel physically unwell and assumed a cold was on its way. Clair started to deteriorate and soon went downhill. Being rushed to hospital by her husband, it was confirmed that Clair had an acute case of Mastitis (Swelling of the breasts). Sore and in pain, Clair felt relieved to be away from everyone for the night whilst hooked up to a drip. She felt safe and looked after. She didn’t have to join in with happy families and she didn’t have to smile.

The next day was the morning of Mothers Day. Clair was discharged and went home into the arms of her husband. There he gave her her baby, and a small gift. And inside two little foot prints of her baby boy. Whilst she wanted to feel tears of joy, she felt nothing. Cold and numb. Clair bravely smiled at her husband and baby and got through Mother’s Day wishing it was over. All she wanted was her baby to display something. To give his mummy some real visual live feedback, but it wouldn’t happen.

Since then, Clair’s experience of Mother’s Day has improved year by year. Now approaching her third Mother’s Day Clair wants to have a day of no expectations, and just embrace the day.

For some, its our first ever Mother’s Day and we want to have our flowers and breakfast in bed moment. But for others, this can be a cruel reminder of not being a parent. wanting to be a parent or for some like Annie wanting to be a better parent and ticking the boxes.

We must remember that children don’t remember presents, they remember presence and even if you are having the worst day you could be, a child’s love is unconditional. It is ok to feel sad, it shows children how to accept emotions.

Every mother out there is doing their best. And that includes you, reading this.

Words – Annie Belasco
Contributor – Clair Priestley

PANDAS are here to support you. If you need a listening empathetic ear we are open 24-7 with our email services info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

or you can call us between 9-8pm on 0843 2898 401 Calls cost 6p per minute plus phone company’s excess.

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Baby Bedtime Anxiety

It’s 6.30pm. which means half an hour until baby Lyla’s bedtime. She is showing absolutely no signs of being tired, she hasn’t slept a wink all day. Not even a yawn. Sounds normal, so why is this an issue? Well, in the past twenty seconds I have conjured up the idea that she will not go down to sleep. In fact, she probably won’t go to bed at all. I will be awake all night. I’ve become irritable, irrational and upset. I feel sick, I’m sweating, and my heart is beating like a drum.

Though she could go down. And she did, half an hour later, at 7. No noise and slept all night.

One scenario of the many where my anxiety takes control over me. This is parenting with an anxiety disorder.

I didn’t know much about anxiety before I became a Mum; it was never something I had heard of. I didn’t even know someone that suffered with it, and if they did I didn’t know about it. When these scenarios became more frequent and aggressive, I decided to get myself clued up on what exactly was going on. I suffered with post-natal depression, but this was a totally different ball game. This was alien to me. I felt lost in my own body like a stranger. I didn’t know who I was or what was going on. After some research and speaking to someone at PANDAS (a fabulous pre and post-natal depression charity helping parents cope and understand) the word ‘anxiety’ kept cropping up. I spoke with my doctor and my health visitor and then it was confirmed. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder.

What is anxiety you ask? Well there isn’t one fixed term. For me it’s the loss of control, the feeling of unease and nervousness with an uncertain outcome. There are many types of anxiety. mine was centered around my daughter, my parenting. One slip up in her routine and the negative thoughts and physical symptoms would speed through me like a freight train. If I took her out alone I feel like everyone’s eyes are fixed on me waiting for me to slip up. Or that my parenting ability was on trial and everyone who laid eyes on me felt like the judge and jury.

I become defensive about my daughter, like I had to justify any parenting choice I made, even to someone who doesn’t know me. That’s my anxiety. My thoughts don’t stop. The worry has attached itself to me and very rarely lets go.

It’s picking on the wrong person – I don’t back down and I don’t let it win. I pull my support through many different resources, my family, PANDAS, my friends and my writing. It takes it away. It allows me to accept that it’s just my thoughts and my lack of confidence.

I get my strength from my daughter. I mean I’ve parented her a whole year and she’s the happiest soul ever, so huge high five to me, right? I still have my bad days, my battles and my challenges, I’m coping more now than I have in the last 12 months and knowing my diagnosis makes it so much easier to function. I’m not the only one and I never will be. The fact I can write this and raise awareness makes it even more special as I can help someone sat there, perhaps in tears, assuming their baby won’t sleep. Well, they will.

And I’m sure you will have the best sleep you’ve had. Have faith in yourself and get stuck in!

Until next time..

 


Daisy , 24 from the outskirts Edinburgh in Scotland. lives with my partner Sean and their beautiful, sassy one year old Lyla. Daisy works in retail and loves writing. A year ago, Daisy was diagnosed with post natal depression and anxiety disorder after the birth of her daughter Lyla. Daisy says “I’m passionate about mental health and supporting others through their journey” Daisy has written a blog for PANDAS, demonstrating a snippet of one of the challenges of anxiety with parents: ‘Bedtime.’

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Bodies Beyond Babies

Rachael Jennings, 31 from Doncaster is a proud mum to baby Nell. Rachael experienced pre and post natal depression and anxiety with her first child. Rachael is now on a mission to campaign for better and more perinatal support services.
 
 
Rachael started the calendar campaign after feedback from mothers that they were encouraged to “bounce back” after having a baby. Her aim? To support PANDAS by raising money and awareness, while celebrating the variations of “normal”; of the post baby body.
 

Rachael is also a baby massage and pregnancy yoga instructor, as well as PGCE and Early Years Professional. 

 
She says “I am incredibly proud of the mums who have taken part in the calendar and the supporting team. I plan to continue to work hard in breaking the silence around PND and help others to find self-love.”
 
24

My PND Experience – Part 1

I wrote this article for PANDAS in the hope that one day there won’t be such a thing called stigma when it comes to mental health.

I suffered with depression prior to my pregnancy because we found out we couldn’t conceive naturally. I felt like the world had come crashing down around me. And I was very low. We planned our fertility treatment and ended up having IVF. I became very anxious; I basically lived in a bubble through my pregnancy. I would over analyse everything, I wouldn’t eat anything unless I prepared it or if I told someone what to prepare. I read the labels on everything. I wouldn’t over exercise. Because I was told it’s better for baby to lay on your left, I was so scared to lay on my right side during my sleep that I hardly slept. I prayed everyday that we would make it to the end and meet our little girl. But at the back of my mind I was worrying about what my life would now be like. Did losing my “Pap” mean that I got to have a baby. There is an old myth that when you lose a loved one a baby comes along. He was my closet relative and this played on my mind throughout.

I was anxious, irritable, agitated, tired from lack of sleep, nervous, low and spent a lot of time crying.

I had all different sorts of ideas running through my head. How can I care for a baby? What if this happened, what would I do? Is this it for the next 20 years. Then I’d think: I can’t wait, all those cute clothes and day trips out.

It was exhausting.

During my pregnancy I suffered with severe morning sickness and had to have medication. I was diagnosed with pelvic girdle pain and saw a physiotherapist. The IVF and pregnancy certainly took its toll on me both physically and mentally. I had a few scares through my pregnancy regarding my baby’s heart rate. This did not help my anxiety at all. I expressed to the medical professionals my levels of anxiety and that I was concerned about my delivery. I was exhausted from not sleeping with worry. I didn’t think they would get her out, due to previous Gynae problems. I was told it was just nerves and not to worry. “Every mum feels like it. Every mum gets nervous.”

I was not asked about my mental health during my pregnancy. I was always told it is first time mum nerves. My advice would be to other parents, don’t accept this if you feel low. Then please seek help.

After a rough pregnancy my baby decided to come a few weeks early.I had mixed emotions, I thought finally we would get to meet and this worry will be all over with.

That’s what I thought anyway.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

 


 

Kerry Thomas, in her own honest 

 

words, is married to an “amazing husband” and is a proud mother to a beautiful little girl. Kerry started writing mummy blogs regarding post traumatic stress, postnatal depression and birth trauma following the birth of her now two year old.
Kerry has a strong desire to write about her mental health experiences through blogging and on social media, and is also writing a book to help others who are struggling. Her aim is to give people with mental health illness  a voice.
She has written a three part series of blogs for PANDAS -the first introducing herself and her pregnancy. 

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